Fickle

Publicity for my missing son is trade off.  Keeping your loved ones missing case relevant and current is the hope!  On the one hand you get the story back into the news and peoples minds.

It is a mental and physical roller-coaster of emotion every time.   

 

It’s exhausting as I feel myself slide into overdrive, shaking with the heightened adrenaline, jaws chattering out of my control.  I persevere. It’s my chance to have Damien acknowledged. He is still a missing person. After the interview it takes awhile to settle that adrenaline rush and to go over in my mind what was discussed.  Fretting if I got it all out clearly!  Jumping through adrenaline hoops re-living the moments again.

 

I have to believe it will be better to endure the physical distress than not to try again. If the trade off works out then it’s worth the effort. 

 

It is still bitterly disappointing if the media fail to follow through with an article!  

 

One learns to have a thick skin as possible and to expect to be let down.  It cushions the fall. So many times it’s bumped by bigger stories or an editor decided on a whim not to got with it.

Chalk it up to fickleness. 

Waiting for you to come home to us

 

Oh Why Not! 💁‍♀️

I don’t want Covid! Jeez!  

I am 68 years old. 

I don’t want Covid!

I am certainly not decrepit,  I am very healthy. But am I vulnerable?  Probably!

But I don’t want Covid!

I will wear a mask in public because I will protect myself a little and show that I will take this seriously to protect other people.  Not to mention, I now am very  aware of other peoples spit levels coming in my direction.  I think that’s enough to remain a masker long after there is a vaccine which will bring this under control.
 
I don’t deserve to die because a few may feel I don’t warrant protecting, old, expendable and “on the way out anyway.”  I/we/elderly have lived a long time to get to this point.  We have paid our dues.  We have seen a lot.  We have faith in recovery.  Society is not crumbling.  Life goes on.  We learned his decades ago.  Life changes.  People change. Governments change and nothing in this world is static.  You do have a say and you do have control.  Live a good life, do the right thing, support and protect each other.  It’s called understanding and empathy.  Its collective cooperative consideration caring and not being bloody selfish!  
 
My life is not your lottery where survival of the fittest seems to be weeding out the weakest.  Especially not when precautions suggested/mandated just might be the way forward!  Setting the example.  Showing solidarity against contaminating more people.

No it’s not going away.  However, I believe there is hope for a vaccine in the our future. Then you can un-mask yourself. We will all on a level playing field after vaccines are given a chance to save even the most vulnerable.  Right now there is no safety net. So let’s all respect that this is a temporary situation.  Make the best of these times and don’t wallow in pity for what you can’t do but be content in the fact you do have a future. 
 
I want to see my grandchildren graduate college and  marry, if that is what they want.  I want to be a great grandmother. 

I want to be around for as long as I can.  Especially because I want to see Damien laid to rest.  I don’t want Covid to ruin that last hope for peace of mind for me and Ed, our family, friends and caring community.  I don’t want to die without providing that one final dignity for my son. 

So, I don’t want Covid and please wear your forking mask and stop the whinging & whining.  It’s not forever.