Monday, March 30, 2020

Weird Covid days

March 30, 2020
Hello blog, I am on day who knows what of lockdown, shelter in place and getting a little stir crazy.  Taken the dog to the dog park and used doggy poo bags, empty, to open gates.  I gave  the handful of doggy mums and dads a wide berth.

Basically I have been inside now for a month.  I am retired so not needing to concern myself with things I have no control over anyway!  I have spent my time reading books - on Audible.  CB Strike novels by Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling - highly recommend!!   Doing so meet ups on Zoom.  Cleaning.  But other than that am stuck in the house.  I do online grocery shopping which I pick up at the allotted time slot.  However, the time slots are now  sometimes a four day wait so I alternate two stores.  I was able to get most of what I need this way.  However, this week just about everything is unavailable for pick up or is out of stock.  This is starting to get dire.  Trump, I know because I saw his lips move and say the words, promised us the supply chain would not dry up.  But supplies without employees to move them are redundant.  My family laughed at me when I said we need a vegetable garden planting.

I just miss that spur of the moment feeling of   ‘I will pop out to the store.’

Strange how ‘unskilled’ workers are now our best hope to keep the basic infrastructure going.  Karma  Donald - now we need those people double quick!

It’s also dire when our leaders of governments become sick and have to isolate.  Royalty too.  The mind boggles how things could change in a heartbeat.

So on the one hand many places shut down and the roads are almost empty compared to normal.   But, there again, the garden nursery across the road seems to be going great guns with cars rolling up.  Not sure that is an ‘essential service’ but hey ho!  Rules don’t seem to mean much.  The road workers widening the road or putting in drainage are working hard.  Must be a joy for them to be working and not have cars everywhere!

The grands have begun their online virtual school work this week.  My husband is working from home and said he got tons of business this week so far.  Weird.  Maybe this is a sign of things to come with remote school work and remote  home office.  So much for companies who seemed to think  it couldn’t be done.  Where there is a will there is a way - my mother always said.





Ladder of Hope

COVID has brought society to its knees with its untested influence.   Nobody is safe. It can happen to anyone.    We are stopped in our tracks and forced to reassess how we got here.  Could we have done something to stop it?  Can it ever be fixed?  Will life ever be the same? Suddenly the pictures of third world disasters are now us.  Our complacent comfortable lives laid bare and vulnerable.  We are not invincible.

When our son vanished In 1996 time stood still for our family.  We began living life with one foot in the present and one foot firmly in the past. Life in limbo, ambiguous loss (Dr. Pauline Boss) are descriptions for families left behind to cope with the unresolved loss of a loved one.   Not knowing is the worst. No finality. The future looking vague.  Loss, confusion, dismay. Wondering, how could this happen? Learning to put the jigsaw of life back together, leaving large blank holes where once there was a vital vibrant important  piece.

I think we are already on a ladder of hope to repair our lives - it’s a process.  Some things can be fixed but some cannot.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Dismal Days

It’s a very tenuous thread between feeling okay and feeling devastated.  One minute feeling good, holding  it together, feeling strong, useful, worthwhile and hopeful and making a difference.  The next feeling totally crestfallen, desolate & isolated. Pulling oneself up by the boot straps again.  It will be okay a one day...

Monday, March 16, 2020

Poof

Then, suddenly
just like that
all the wheeling, dealing,
grasping, manipulations
of daily life
as we knew it
is reduced
to a heap of
trivia
by a rampant global virus

while we were not looking

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Jumbles

The things left unsaid
Words cannot do justice
Emotions lived within
Efforts gone unnoticed 
Days lost anguish
Years of life missed out on
Anxiety and anger simmering
Loss tangled with the living
The struggles of desperation
Silent cries for justice
Highs of hope and lows of desolation
A hand outstretched to hold
Fading light when fears loom large
Forever left wondering
Did we do enough?
Feelings of  despondency
Light shines in
Raise up 
Nobody could have done more
Don’t give up 
Stronger than imagined
Grasp the outstretched hand 
The light is here