Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I read an article that suggested the arrest in the Claudia Lawrence case this week in the UK, proves the McCann case should not be scaled back.

It is understandable and many feel calling off the search for a missing person is inhuman.  But that is the reality of the majority of missing kids cases.  Very few cases have the luxury of prolonged international attention.  Major celebrities, including the Prime Minister and the Pope,  have supported some families of the missing.   It needs to be said that over 200,000 people go missing every year in the UK alone.  They go missing on home soil, but their cases are never heard about outside of the locality where they went missing.  They have family too, in need of help and support.

Every time a case is solved or missing people are found/recovered, it gives ALL families left behind a little hope that one day they will have answers.  Not just one or two familes but thousands who are suffering but not heard about,

I think about my 18 year search for my son.  I see the fantastical amounts of money and expert top notch manpower focused on a handful of cases.  It is painful to be left without any resources at all in terms of a professional search team.  We are lucky to have a team of public volunteers trying to excavate a site for my sons body, in England, on home soil.  But police wont help with it and show little concern or interest.  They are quite happy for the public to get on with it.  No funds apparently.

Every missing person case deserves to be solved.  We simply want the same opportunity for recovery.   

Thursday, March 19, 2015

For the past couple of days I felt a sense Damien.  Its a gut feeling I get about my kids.  I felt it this week a couple of times and it was a sense of Damien.  Don’t know how else to describe this thing I feel for my children.  But out of the blue, I felt him close.  Could see him clearly and felt his closeness, like he was thinking of me too.  I felt his presence and I felt like I had taken  a breath at last.  

I  lost the feeling of connection to Damien in that intrinsic sense.  I always ‘felt’ my kids, even if they were not right with me.  I have a ‘sense’ of them.  It is not a tangible thing, its impossible to explain, but it is something a parent has.  It’s a sense of your children.

When Damien went missing, I felt panic, fear, but beyond that, I felt a sense of him that I could reach out to.  I felt his existence.  But soon this feeling left me.  I couldn’t connect to that feeling and I struggled with the loss of it.  The fear of what that means.  I lost my focus of Damien.  As the years passed, it has, on occasion seemed difficult to find a emotional connection.  Its too painful perhaps.  Its numb where there was pure joy in the life I brought into this world, watched grow into a funny talented human being and got to know and love.

So for a fleeting couple of moments, he came back into my senses and I felt warmth, happiness and all I could do was to smile and remember his beautiful soul.

I feel we are getting close to the truth and an answer.