Saturday, October 31, 2020

Somewhere in England my son remains to be found

Ups and downs are normal in this life of missing Damien.  

Every year, at this time, Nov 2,  I have felt hopeful we will get somewhere as I busied myself with aspects of the case, pushing through the inertia.  It’s devastating to look back and know not enough was done &, perhaps, Damien may have been recovered in whichever way that could be.  There are many cases much older, not ‘cold cases’ and still have active SIO’s assigned.  So many similar cases were featured on Crimewatch, which SIO refused to ask for. I was informed they already had too much information and didn’t need any more.  Damien has been put on ice. Swept under a rug.  In short, the case should have remained a suspected murder, as was classified in 2010/11.  

Somewhere on British soil my son is still waiting to be found.  

Sunday, October 25, 2020

As we approach year 24

In the past year I was on and off anti-depressants.  If they could change the root of my sadness they would be a bloody miracle.  So I am off them and find a clarity in thoughts again.  The only thing that could possibly help is Damien being given back to us in whatever form that might take.  We need to bring him home to rest.  It’s all we ever want.  

I  continue to focus on improving the care & community surrounding the missing issue.


I joined Missing People Charity’s advisory group assisting  with  creation of content on a new website which will be launched soon.


I have joined several zoom events with the Charity which bring families together during lockdown to feel connected with others who understand.  It’s been a success.   I and other families were invited to assist the Met who are devising online forms for reporting the missing which was an interesting project.


I recently spoke to a high ranking officer about the issue and got some great feedback.  I was heard and acknowledge which is all we families need.   The most essential component in these cases is good communication skills between police and family.  Should be simple, right? Not so much!   Some are fortunate to be assigned a case liaison officer but many languish in a suspended state as nothing is being communicated and advice is lacking.  Still in 2020, things can always be improved. 


Locate International are working with University criminology students to review Damiens case file information and identify any leads police can progress further.  The report will be sent to Damiens cold case officer for consideration.  So another wait and see game with Hants Constabulary I am sure.


There is still a lot to be done and I have continued to push for Damiens Law if only to create an awareness of issues that need improvement.  However, some areas of the manifesto may be redundant and my focus will probably change as we identify which of those issues we can actually cross off the list based on current  improvements taking shape and progressed.  The prospect of a Damiens Law was always a long shot and with the current Covid issues would have very little chance of ever going anywhere.  It doesn’t seem hopeful for a lasting legacy to Damien.


My book has sold around 5k in paperback & ebooks.  So not too bad for a first time book.  It’s never going to be a best seller and it wasn’t done for any gain other than to document how we have had to manage the minefield of information that we have to get our family head and hearts around.


At the end of the day, almost 24 years on, I feel lost and alone as I look back at the long road we have been treading and the endless horizon ahead. I am okay, it’s not dire it’s just real and it’s sad.  I  am struggling with sounding the out the words of  hope, but I have to confess it’s hollow hope.  Words to help others feel better but the space within my soul is struggling to believe.


Anyone who has pertinent information can contact our website


Or Hampshire Constabulary directly!