Wednesday, September 23, 2020


 It may be difficult to grasp  but….

Why we are still talking about this.  So many people still go missing it’s hard to keep up with it.  Many return fairly soon. But so many don’t. It is very real and sobering. 23 years has passed since our son, Damien, vanished off the face of the earth. Families of recent missing family members look at us in awe and dread.  We (and sadly too many others) are the poster family for what they fear the most.  They could be us in years to come. 


It’s assumed we have healed the wounds by now.  Although it will soon be 24 years, in every way,  it is still November 3 1996, the day we found he was gone from our lives.  We calculate life events by the date marker Damien vanished. It is raw but we have learned to function in and around it. The pain still exists.   In our hearts we are desperately waiting to find him again.  We don’t want pity or attention.  We need help from the community to remember him and to give those who might know what did happen the chance to find it in their hearts to tell us.  Or, we pin our hopes on finding his remains.  How perverse to have a need to find your child’s bones?  But it’s reality for us long term families of the missing.  If you can say hope?  That’s what we want.  Our loved one back in the fold.  Respectfully placed at rest.  


Author: The Boy Who Disappeared ISBN: 1789460719

Publisher John Blake Books

Goodreads/Amazon/Audible & bookshops 


  1. Valerie myself and my son Gavin Cant will never ever forget Damien. He was the cheeky boy who Gavin use to bring home when both at Solent School.We have also read your book,which we thought was brilliant. Terrible that you were let down in so many ways. Love to you and the family❤️❤️����

    1. Thank you! It helps to know he is remembered❤️

  2. I can’t believe that we are still at this point in time for you Valerie.
    The police were completely incompetent at the time and are faring no better now!
    People on the Isle of Wight have alluded to knowing what happened to Damien on local Facebook pages for some time now.
    Was any of the information investigated by the Police?
    I can’t even begin to comprehend how you feel.
    You need closure, peace & to know the truth about what happened to your son.