Is this grief?
My son is missing and I don’t know why
|Damien Nettles aged 9|
As he left the house he waved bye bye
I woke up to his empty room
My gut feeling? Foreboding and gloom!
Surely he’ll come home as he always had before
He must turn up; we will hope for the best
But I could not ignore that sense of unrest
As time wore on I knew this was wrong
Nothing I learned seemed to help us along
What happened to him? I may never know
My loss is deep and the pain still raw
There now lives an empty place in the heart of our home
I mourn his short life that filled us with laughter
We remember him fondly and share all his banter
Arms and legs flailing as he cavorted about
Acting the fool larger than life
How we miss this lad
Our lives are tinged with sadness
Sometimes it feels like madness
I struggle with unresolved loss
Somewhere between ifs and maybe’s
Do I live in hope?
Do I accept he is dead?
How can I bury my son with no body to rest?
No grave, no marker to visit ?
I cannot grieve fully, but grief? Is it?
Unresolved lonely and empty
Valerie Nettles December 2019
The Boy Who Disappeared - available in good bookshops, Amazon, Kindle, Nook, Audible